The Earth Tilted for Me

I don't know how it came to pass, that the earth tilted for me, that my life became something I felt like a character in. I'm not sure when it began or who is at fault. None of that really matters does it?

I do know that I am human. I am not what I thought I was, not the best mother, not the best wife, not the best friend, not the best house keeper, not the best. Why did I think I needed to be? Now I am sure I don't have to be. I am relieved to put down that burden.

I don't know how to walk with that burden off my shoulders. I am off balance. I flounder, stop, start, give up, start over. Each restart is born from what I've learned, they are getting easier, or I am just getting used to not being the best.

I do know that I am ordinary in more ways than I am not. I am extraordinary in a few ways as well. I've stopped looking for my happy ending. I'll be glad to have my happy moments. I'll take the sad too - if I could give them away I would. I'll try to take these moments, happy and sad, with graciousness.

I don't know what everyone needs all of the time. I know people need food, shelter, water, love, compassion, and a purpose. I need these things, my people need them. I will do my part - but I can't do it all.

I do know I can't do it all. I can't follow every dream, but I can give all I have to a select few. I can't always win, but I can keep trying. I can't always look good in front of others, but I can look inside and know I am good - because I am trying to be.

I don't know how to be normal. I am sure I wouldn't like it, but I am not sure I like who I am either. Sometimes when I talk to people I'm sure they don't have a clue what I am trying to express. I don't like that. I don't like being misunderstood.

I do know that I am part good and part bad. We have to take the good with the bad, I suppose. What other choice is there? We can't give up.

Something beautiful is happening all the time. The sun rises every morning in radiant glory and sets in sultry hues. These two things alone are so beautiful, so miraculous.

I don't know where I'll end up. I know where I am headed. I am not sure if fate will let me get there.
Time will tell.Time with it's tricks, twists, turns, deceptive flow. One minute we're young and we have forever to decide and the next minute we're not and the preciousness of time becomes clear.

I do know this: I love this world even though it's cruel some times. I love my children no matter what. I love myself - enough for myself. The sun will rise on new days for me to travel through and set to give me rest.